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Movie Review Rough Draft: The New Girl (2003 DTV)

Charles Rector's Weblog; Aug. 8, 2011; By Charles Rector
Type: Review

 

Espionage and fashion modeling have long been subjects for movies. However, its rare that both of these glamorous occupations would play equally important roles in the same movie. This is what makes the strangely fascinating made for TV movie The New Girl unique. This is one flick with no-talent actors and actresses, but an original story even if it is rather flaky.

The movie opens in an unnamed Midwestern town where this blond chick named Arielle (Juliana Kincaid) is preparing to move to Los Angeles where she will attend college majoring in history while living with her glamorous fashion model cousin Tracy (Diana Espen). Her boyfriend shows up with engagement ring in hand in a desperate attempt to persuade her to stay with him. She tells him that she wants to be a public school teacher and the only way to do that is move to Southern California and live the high life with her cousin while going to school with the sons and daughters of movie stars.

Arielle moves in with her glamorous cousin and before you know it, she’s a model herself. Arielle learns that in order to make it in the modeling business, you have to engage in immoral acts with the photographers and the other persons at the agency, irregardless of how they look or behave. You also have to engage in immorality with whomever they tell you to. Since she’s getting paid $5,000 a week irregardless of whether she does any work or not, that does not seem like a bad deal to Arielle, especially since she can put the seduction techniques that she’s been taught at the modeling agency to good use making sure that she gets great grades regardless of whether or not she actually attends classes or does any homework. Life is sweet for Arielle.

That is, until the cable guy shows up when Arielle is alone at home. He identifies himself as Special Agent Brewster of the Federal Bureau of Investigation (FBI) and takes her downtown to FBI HQ in Los Angeles. There, she is informed of the awful truth behind the glamorous modeling agency. For instance, the premiere photographer with a French accent is actually an Italian guy whose vocal cords were surgically altered so he pass himself off as being French. The models are actually members of a “seduction squad” that picks up intelligence for terrorists who are planning a reign of terror in LA. The models have been brainwashed into becoming the pawns of the terrorists and they have some way of gaining top secret materials and then sending it to the terrorists that the FBI has not been able to figure out. The FBI tells Arielle that since she’s new on the job, she has not been brainwashed yet, but her cousin has been. The FBI makes an offer to Arielle that if she works for them, they will spare Tracy and on top of that, de-brainwash her. Naturally, Arielle agrees.

Arielle proves a pro at spying on her fellow models. She discovers their secret lines of communication. You see, the models take darts with them on their seduction missions. After they render their marks unconscious, they hitch the darts up to their laptop computers and download their files. They then open the window and throw out the darts. Each dart has miniature rocket engines and they fly off to the waiting terrorists. Arielle provides the FBI with the goods and the FBI brings down the curtain on the evil enemies and their putrid plot. End of movie.

Despite the fact that The New Girl borders on being a pornographic flick (its R rating should have been NC-17), its a surprisingly fun flick despite its unlikely plot. At least it is far more original than big budget movies and has very nice cinematography. However, due to the facts that this writer was able to pick it up for $1 and that it does not show up on IMDB, this is one obscure movie. It deserves better.

Script: 9
Acting: 1
Cinematography: 10
Originality: 10
Reviewer’s Tilt: 8

Overall Grade: 7.6

 

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